


Lay your weary head to rest

by SwirlsOfBlueJay



Series: Carry on wayward son [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America Civil War, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Coda, Gen, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Civil War (Marvel), Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 11:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6702625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwirlsOfBlueJay/pseuds/SwirlsOfBlueJay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set straight after Captain America: Civil War. (There are major spoilers).<br/>Tony searches. That’s all he does, all day every day. Searches for The Avengers and searches for Barnes, albeit for different purposes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lay your weary head to rest

Tony searches. That’s all he does, all day every day. Searches for The Avengers and searches for Barnes, albeit for different purposes.

 

*

 

Clint leads the others down a back alley in nowheresville. He doesn’t know how he became the de-facto leader of a flying man, a shrinking man and woman who can move things with her mind. Apparently seniority is now a thing. Steve left, stating that it was for the best; to take the heat off them and to give Tony space.

Clint carefully scopes out their surroundings. The majority of local law enforcement don’t seem to be bothered with trying to catch rebellious avengers. And there’s no government surveillance here to speak of. But Clint knows there are still a lot of people after them and plenty of reasons to be careful. And despite being on the edge of civilisation there are still a disturbing number of private cameras and other tech stamped with Stark Industries. And that’s not even considering the satellites. Clint tries to avoid being seen, but he knows if Tony’s tracking them they’re all screwed.

The first priority is resources. Their bolt-holes are compromised and they need to find another way to get what they need without attracting attention.

 

*

 

Tony’s listening to the task force’s chatter and knows they have no idea where Barnes or The Avengers are. He’s got programs scanning for visuals and verbal references. After a few days of work putting pieces together and setting up parameters based on where they’ve been, he’s able to pinpoint The Avengers’ location. Natasha’s completely in the wind but he didn’t expect anything less and she knows where he is in the unlikely event that he’s needed.

Barnes is also in the wind, it may be making Tony a little crazy. Okay, Barnes-related thoughts are still pretty much a fiery ball of rage. Tony’s used to the monsters his father created coming back to bite him in the ass; with Obadiah Stane and Vanko and now apparently Rogers and Barnes too. His father’s murder makes a kind of sense, Tony’s still upset about it. But it’s an inevitability. But Barnes killed his mother. And that is unacceptable, brainwashing or no. Tony will find him. And he will end him.

 

*

 

Clint, out of some bizarre instinct, somehow finds himself looking directly into a CCTV camera with Stark Industries plastered on the side. The camera nods at him. Clint nods back. His stomach is in his throat. In his heart he knows it’s an olive branch, knows that Tony wouldn’t sell them out to the task force knowing where they’d end up, knows that they need Tony’s help. But his head is screaming that trusting Tony, who is still working with the Accords task-force, is insane.

“Sir, this is for you.”

Clint has an arrow pointed at the man before the sentence is finished. The man holds up is hands, placating.

“Open the case, slowly,” Clint replies.

The case is filled with cash, fake passports, other documentation and a small array of tech. It’s everything they need. It’s definitely from Tony. It’s probably a trap, the bills marked, the passports and tech being tracked. It’s too dangerous a risk. But Clint hasn’t survived this long fighting with a bow and arrow without trusting his instincts.

He tells the others, “You each need to agree to this, it’s a big risk and if we’re caught its back to super-max. But I think this is our best shot.”

“You know Tony best out of us. I say we go for it,” Sam replies.

“Agreed,” Wanda adds.  

Scott looks from person to person, “Are you guys seriously suggesting we trust Tony Stark!? He just had us sent to Super-Max!”

“He didn’t know that’s where they’d put us,” Wanda counters.

Clint sighs. He didn’t want to talk anyone into this. He’d hoped for a more even split. But they can’t leave Scott alone. And he can’t justify leaving Wanda and Sam out here when they’re willing to take the risk.

“Listen, Sam’s right, I know Tony. That son of a bitch is crazy. He created Ultron. But you know what he did next, he decided to try again and we thought he was being insane, but he created Vision. Tony fixes his mistakes; that’s what this is.”

Scott hesitates before finally saying, “Okay, I’m in.”

 

*

 

Now that Tony knows where The Avengers are it’s easy to keep the Accords taskforce away from them. After all The Avengers are good at hiding and are doing most of the work themselves. It takes little more than a nudge from Tony to make sure they’re not found. It’s barely a blip on his radar.

Thus he’s begun stomping around the place in a craze. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Barnes is nowhere. Invisible.

Vision tries to calm him down, dissuade him, but it doesn’t hold the weight it would’ve once. There’s a tension between them. Partly due to Rhodey’s accidental paralysis and partly Vision’s struggle with being under the sway of Tony and the stone; how much of himself is programming. Is there any freedom to be had?

There’s distance where once there would’ve been togetherness and Tony’s mostly left to his own devices after a few brief bouts of half-hearted counsel.

He sometimes feels the fire might burn him up. He has to find Barnes. The man may be a super-soldier, but he still has to be somewhere. 

 

*

 

When they step outside the train station there’s a car waiting for them. Clint’s stomach does a freefall. They must have been followed. And the others are looking at him. Are they going to run, or fight, or surrender? The driver is holding the door open, waiting. Clint looks around, there’s no one else here. And the driver looks like an ordinary driver. Then the driver’s phone is ringing and he hands it to Clint.

“Clint, just get in the fucking car.” It’s Tony.

“Am I allowed to refuse?” Clint asks.

“Oh for God’s sake. Yes, of course, refuse. Go run around like headless chickens until the taskforce catches you.”

“Are you suggesting they know where we are?”

“No. They have no clue.”   

“Yep. Thought so.” Clint replies, but gets into the car and gestures for the others to follow. He would know if Tony was lying. And because he suspects he knows what Tony’s up to and knows he can’t talk him out of it, he adds, “And Tony? Be careful.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

 

*

 

Once Tony’s people are safe (because despite everything The Avengers will always be his people), Tony knows he can focus entirely on Barnes. And when the broiling rage lowers to a simmer and he’s able to actually think, he changes tact. He starts researching, everything about the man, what he would do, where he would go.

It hurts that Tony finds him because he understands. He knows the guilt. He knows the urge to protect.

He works to trace a very specific combination of tech, power usage and heat signature. There aren’t that many places in the world that hold cryonically frozen people. And even fewer places that hold cryonically frozen people who are still alive.

 

*

 

Steve sits in his small rented room. There’s too much time for thinking. He’s all alone now. Grief heavy in his chest; for Peggy; for the loss of Bucky, frozen and put away lest he hurt anyone; the loss of The Avengers, rend apart. It’s in this silent time that it weighs on him.

Seeing the footage of the car crash had torn at him. Howard was his friend and finding out that Bucky had killed him felt awful. He’d compartmentalised it away because that moment had to be about Tony. But now he doesn’t know how to feel.

He goes to the gym and punches a bag until he can manage to sleep.

 

*

 

The car drops them off at a bunker. Clint walks cautiously around it. The place is highly secured, luxurious and hidden away. He’s still waiting for a trap to spring. So are the others.

He watches TV with the bow in one hand. But days slip by and eventually the feeling of safety encroaches.

 

*

 

Tony stands in front of the chamber holding a frozen and unconscious James Buchanan Barnes. He’s imagined this moment for weeks. He doesn’t know what to do.

He’s never had a problem striking down his enemies, but they’ve always been running at him full tilt at the time. Killing someone while they’re sleeping seems unfair. And as much as Tony still hates Steve he thinks he owes the man enough to at least give Barnes a fighting chance. He shelves the thought for the moment. The first part of his plan can still go ahead.

Tony takes out the device he’s made especially for this moment. It allows him to unfreeze Barnes’ head while the rest of him remains frozen. He delights in the panic and fear Barnes shows while waking to the sight of him. Hatred and anger seeps insipidly through Tony, at the thought this is how his parents must’ve felt before they died. But Barnes hides his fear too quickly. More than anything he just looks tired. Suddenly Tony’s filled by an ache at the revelation that he’s really known from the start; this won’t make him feel better.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you,” Tony says.

Barnes lips are in a straight line. “Sorry. I’ve got no reason for you.”

“I think a quick death would be letting you off easy. You don’t get to run from your guilt.”

“Is that what you want to hear, that I feel guilty? I do, every day. I remember every face…”

Tony narrows his eyes. “You were about to say something.”

“You don’t want to hear it.”

“Tell me.”

“They were your parents. I don’t deserve to say these things to you, I haven’t earned the right.”  

Another idea appears in Tony’s head, it’s probably over the line. Too dark and vicious and deliberate and planned, not uncontrolled and violent like a knife through the chest. Tony doesn’t even know if he has it with him. He takes out his file of research on Barnes, rifles through, finds it. It’s just a scrap of paper. Just a list of words.

Tony begins reading. Barnes’ eyes widen in terror and he begins thrashing wildly. He still can’t move his limbs.

“Don’t! No! Stark, don’t do this! Please! Stark!”

Tony savours the reaction as he says the words, imagines everything he could make him do, strip him of his life like he’s done to others. But the thought turns bittersweet, empty. This has been done to Barnes already. And Tony is tired too.

“Freight car.”

“Ready to comply.”  

“Tell me.”

The blank gaze of the Winter Soldier shifts to something else as Barnes speaks,

“Every time I wake from the brainwashing, I remember it all. I’ve felt the horror for my victims, the despair at their pain, the guilt of everything I’ve done. But there are times…that are worse than others. I’ve known Steve my entire life; we were everything to each other…”

There are tears shining in Barnes’ eyes and Tony almost wants to stop him from talking, but he needs to hear what he has to say. 

“And I shot him. I watched him fall. I thought he was dead. And what I felt at that…there are no words for. He survived but I carry that with me. I hurt him. I could’ve killed him, it weighs down every inch of me. I tell myself, brainwashing or not, I should’ve found a way to overpower it. When there’s something that matters that much, I should’ve been able to stop myself. So I don’t deserve his forgiveness. And I sure as Hell don’t deserve yours, so I want you to know that’s not what I’m saying here. But I feel bad about what I did to Steve with every fibre of my being. And he’s alive. Howard was my friend too. I saw the look in his eyes as he died at my hand. And that feels worse.”

Tony wants to punch Barnes in reply and so he does. It has the added benefit of waking him from the mind control. They stare at each other for a long time. Tony doesn’t know what to do. He sighs, “Well, I suppose I should put you back to sleep.”

“No, you’re right. I shouldn’t be allowed to run away from my guilt.”

“Are you suggesting I let you run around when anyone with the right word combo can take complete control of you?”

“Say the words again.”

“You’re not serious.”

“If you have control over me no one else can.”

“Are you insane? You trust me?”

“Not for a moment. But I know you won’t make me hurt anyone. And it’s nothing I don’t deserve.”

“No, this is ridiculous; I should put you back to sleep. Or you can call Steve; get him to say the words.”   

“You know he wouldn’t.”

“I hate you so much.”

“I know. Say the words.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll do it on one condition; you find the asshole that made you kill them and you bring them to me.”

“Agreed.”

 


End file.
